Original Bro Dolls from the famous kayak film ENTER THE DONKEY

November Turdteenth News – Kayak Action Figures!

Now available from Effort.tv, your favorite rafting action figures from the DVD, “Enter The Donkey”

We are proud to announce our first seven of a complete line of action figure toys based on characters from the fictitious love story, Enter the Donkey. Buy them all now before supplies run out! Your kids will love them. They make great Thanksgiving or St Patrick’s Day presents. Each figure even comes with it’s own signature model boat.

Characters include:

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Caleb Coaplen – Enter The Donkey’s most conflicted and complex character. A must have.

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Chris Gragtmans – Buy this special edition Gragtmans while our inventory lasts. This character has just run the 50 foot Elk River Falls, and it even surfs 30-foot waves!

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No action figure set is complete without the Drew Hayes model. This figure actually remarks to any comment that deserves sarcasm.

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The Joey Hall figure is a perfect morale booster for kids who get picked on a great deal. A couple days with the Joey figure and you’ll automatically absorb the behavior of a male donkey, guaranteed.

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FELIPE is spelled in upper case letters to imply the importance of the professional paddler nickname. Get the FELIPE action figure and earn a coupon towards the FELIPE Sit-On-Top action figure, available soon.

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Ray Cotton’s action figure comes pre-angry. Want to get your Ray Cotton figurine angry, don’t worry about wasting your time. He’s already pissed off.

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Spencer Cooke’s action figure makes a popular toilet ornament. Float it right beside your own floater!

Enter The Donkey action figure owners will receive a free membership to the ETD fan club. Members will receive exclusive advice from professional paddlers like Heehaw Jones of Enter The Donkey fame. Here’s a special tip from Heehaw himself:

“How To Become A Professional Kayaker”
1. Always refer to yourself as a pro kayaker in front of other kayakers.
2. Have a business card that titles you as a pro kayaker.
3. Make sure and have a web site that has your name in the URL.
4. Always show up in a helicopter.
5. Give yourself a nickname.
6. Describe exceptional moves you did.
7. Refer to yourself in the third person.
8. Always train. Pro kayakers don’t paddle for fun.
9. Have a toy action figure in your likeness.
10. Hashtag #struggleisreal on all your posts.

Do all this stuff and you might qualify for pro kayaker status. If you fail you should probably quit kayaking.

Learn more about Enter The Donkey and buy the DVD at Rapid Transit Video

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