In an attempt to keep the feeling of’s “news on the turds” alive I will be reporting on a rather appropriate topic today. Yes, here in Charlotte NC it’s April twenty-turd… but everywhere else it’s just a plain April twenty-third. I’m here at the US National Whitewater Center for a short visit.

As a sales rep I was privileged to use the exclusive employee restroom when I came across one of the funnier things about this place. I nearly peed my pants upon entering the restroom when I saw this sign beside the door. By the way, “peeing your pants is the coolest. Everybody my age pees their pants.” So says Mr Madison anyway.

To me this sign says, “Come on in. We accept men, women and unusually small people or monkeys in wheelchairs.” Or, “use the bathroom here if you are a giant man or woman or a normal sized person in a wheelchair.” Whatever the meaning, those people a the USNWC need to get their heads Z-rayed.

Later Garrett Bryant and I celebrated our newfound, glorious, stupendous bathroom sign by eating an entire birthday cake and a dozen cheeseburgers. To explain Garrett’s cast, he had a horrible birthday cake candle blowing out accident and broke his arm.

While I’m on the topic of hilarious, new, unusual and exotic signs, I was up in Boone NC last week when I visited my beloved Boone Baglery restaurant. To my delight they have banned smoking in their facility.

And that, boys and girls, is how to not get your head stuck in the rear end of an adult gorilla. The end.

One Response to “

  • The Boone Baglery! My favorite place for a cheap breakfast. In fact, its the favorite place for most of my colleagues too.

    Nice (albeit weird) blog.

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